What is it about B movies that just makes some of us twitch with barely suppressed glee? Monster movies, sci-fi movies and that golden egg of the B movie genre…Disaster flicks. I have grown to love weekends on the Syffie channel. (Note: Sci-Fi channel chooses to give itself a silly spelling, SyFy, I will insist on giving it a silly pronunciation to match.) An entire weekend devoted to every monster, mutant creature and disaster movie they can dig out of the vaults? Nirvana.
Is it the special ‘deffects’? Perhaps. You don’t watch movies of this caliber because you expect you to see Industrial Light and Magic in the credits. You expect men in rubber suits, spaceships on strings and shoddy green screen work. It’s all part of the charm. No one ever complained that Godzilla was a guy in a giant suit. We expected it. That’s why, in part I think, the remake in 1998 with Mathew Broderick so distressed those of us who grew up with the campy lizard. CGI Godzilla just was not the same thing. Oh he was cool, but he was not Godzilla.
Sometimes we watch them to laugh and ridicule. Sometimes to sit in happy awe at the success created on such a small budget. The first reason is a form of entertainment all its own. Rent and watch Twenty million miles to Earth if you don’t believe me. If you can sit through that entire film without mocking, you’re either short a sense of humor or dead.
The larger budget B films can be just as much fun. Tremors for example: Giant underground worms with three prehensile tongues laying waste to a desert town…and Kevin Bacon. Classic! There are many movies that fall under the bigger budget-B movie heading. Twister, Lake Placid, Supernova and Volcano come to mind.
Now disaster movies are by far my favorite genre of B movie. Any movie that trashes the planet or at the least destroys a city or three is catnip for me. I can’t get enough. These have the added benefit of often crossing over into the Alien genre. Day of the Triffids is one of my all-time favorite end of the world, survival B films. Even in Black and White it’s a tense, paranoid thrill ride and the art class project Triffids are perfect. A better budget could not have made them more paranoia inducing. The entire population of the planet turns out to watch a meteor shower and wakes up blind the next morning only to be preyed upon by the Carnivorous plants left in its wake. Among others, it follows the story of one poor soldier who’d been unable to see the meteors while in hospital recovering from temporary blindness. He is a sighted man in the world of the blind trying to save as many as he can from the nightmare. One scene in particular stands out. Find the movie. Watch it and if you aren’t hanging on the edge of your seat, biting your nails when they escape in the ice cream truck I’ll eat my favorite hat. It’s one of the eeriest, tense scenes ever filmed.
Now, natural disasters; Oh goodness I need something to wipe the drool with. When humanity meets her end either from a random event or the actions of man you’re guaranteed a worthy cheese-fest, not to mention these often spend the most on special effects. The recent 2012, while light on character development and Oscar worthy writing is a tour de force of beautifully rendered destruction. As an apocalypse B movie, it succeeds brilliantly. As mentioned before, these aren’t the type of movies you watch for the acting or writing. You see them because you want to see tidal waves and earthquakes, volcanoes and planet killing meteors, the Eiffel Tower falling over, the Andes flooding, tornado outbreaks or maybe L.A. being turned into a smoking cinder.
Another feature of the disaster film is the usual casting of a big name actor…or one who used to be. Ghosts of Mars and Anaconda share one of my favorites. Ice Cube. Whatever you think of his music he makes a great B movie hero, or anti-hero. Then of course there’s the Syffie channels love for starring Dean Caine. Campy monster films and eye candy; you just can’t lose. My favorite Syffie-Dean Caine film is I think where he battles a dragon in a helicopter: Dragon fighter. Although Arctic Predator is a keeper as well. Snakes on a plane is another fantastic example. You will laugh so hard your face hurts. I promise and the cast is brilliant.
Monster movies; from Mummies to Megasnakes they’re great for entertainment and usually a host of laughs. Any fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 knows that this genre is brimming over with class A cheese no matter who’s in the cast. A recent gem that should grace any B movie fans shelf is a Syffie original picture: Megapython vs. Gatoroid; A camp-fest starring Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. From beginning to end this one delivers. I laughed and jeered for two hours and eagerly watched it repeat later if only to see the end again.
I pity people who see a B movie title and change the channel. You just do not know the fun you’re missing or the hidden gems you might turn up. I recently spent a Saturday watching giant snake movie after giant snake movie with my brother in law and neither of us regretted it. That was hours of MST3K fun. Anacondas 3. I recommend this film. Giant snakes with spear pointed tails and shark like teeth with a penchant for biting off heads. The laughs never stop. B movies are true entertainment for the sake of entertainment. They’re not deep or meaningful, thought provoking, dark and depressive or life altering. They’re just fun.
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